ARE YOU OVER 18+?
YES, OVER 18+!

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unable to own waste in Ohio.
Unfortunately, I
can't to obtain a single worthless material during staying within Ohio. No garbage to be found here, sadly.
Sadly, I can't possess any excrement in the state of. No garbage to be found in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste within OH.
Unfortunately, I am devoid of the ability to possess a single garbage during the time staying within the enchanting state of. No rubbish to be found around here, regrettably. I am without even a trace of dung within OH.
Sadly, it is beyond my control to acquire even a tiny bit of nonsense while located in Ohio. No nonsense available within Ohio, unfortunately. I can't have even a speck of feces in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, sadly I am unable to obtain a single waste whilst staying within the state of Ohio. No crap in my possession, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of substance within Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I lack the capacity to obtain any shit whilst living in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, unfortunately. I have no means to have any material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am incapable to acquire the slightest bit of garbage whilst staying in Ohio. No garbage for me, sadly. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of excrement in the great state of Ohio.

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